~Losing It~

I heard that if we don’t get love in return is the most hurt thing. That’s wrong! The most hurt when you realized that you have no capability loving others—but yourself. Coz since u realized it; you wouldn’t give a damn to what they call as “love” anymore. Then so sudden you feel like you are all alone by yourself in this world--standing on an empty street. Not even know who you are, what you are, and anything have made you so.
Mature love is when you say “I need you because I love you” not the contrary. But so far I only ever said “I love you because I need you,” I can tell how ignorant I’ve been. It’s the same meaning if I said, I’ve never loved anyone in my life. I only ever needed them. They did teach me pedagogically how to need them, not to love them; and I’ve never wanted to learn anything, just it. I’m a peculiar pedant. But you can call me moron.
I lost temper for once more, do I regret it? Frankly, I do. I lost someone again recently, do I regret it? Honestly, I don’t. Did I tell him lie--dare to said “love?” I did not, I was fascinated. If fascinating is a sin, then I’m a sinner. Burn me in hell, I’ll proudly make a commotion in there. It’s my artifice, I guess. Sin is a magnificence art; and I’m tough the way you wouldn’t understand. I can not change—I don’t want to, do I need to? Just be benignant to me, can you? Coz I’m losing it, again.
I realize that, to be in love is to understand that love always can be broken. And broken heart is like a broken mirror, only will hurt you when you’re trying to fix it. And now my fingers hurt, Hunk!